Dear Habibi,

Every word, every detail, every emotion I write is real — true, raw, and deeply tucked away in the quietest corners of me.

Maybe that’s why I often find myself emotional by the time I finish writing. It feels like I’ve lived through it all again — not just remembering, but feeling each moment as if it’s unfolding once more. And sometimes, that weight ends in tears. Sometimes, all I wish for is a long, silent hug — something to hold me after I pen down.

This isn’t just a piece of writing. This is my journal.
And in a space that holds so much of me, there’s no room for anything less than honesty.
These are the words I want to come back to someday — maybe a decade from now — to remember who I was and how far I’ve come.
That’s why protecting the authenticity matters to me more than polishing the lines.

What I sent you — it’s personal. It’s emotional. And in parts, it’s vulnerable.
Most of it, I wouldn’t even think of sharing with the world.
But with you, it feels different.

You offer a kind of space I’ve never really known — a safe space, a quiet presence, a silence that soothes my soul even more than words can. space where silence doesn’t feel empty, but comforting.
You’ve become that presence that quietly holds all the pieces I can’t carry alone.

Honestly, if it weren’t for you, I might never have written these words because almost no one know about this.
It was only because you asked the question “why arki?” that I sat down to write at all.
Even though I wrote it for myself, somewhere deep down, I knew — you deserved to know too.So, I ended up sharing a copy with you.

And there’s something else.
When I was sending you the document, all I really wanted to say was:
“I miss you. I need your hug.”

It took so much restraint, so much energy, to hold that back.
But now… I’ll just say it plainly.

I miss you.

I don’t know why.

I don’t have the right words for it.

But the feeling is there — quiet, steady, and filled with a deep longing to hold you close.

@arki