Retrospection – The Learnings

Looking back at the past year, I realise it has been a year full of learning — professionally less, personally far more.

It wasn’t easy to take the decision I took.

I walked away from the place where I grew up, where I was raised, and where I had lived all my life. A place where most things could be managed with a simple phone call.

Yet, with many doubts and a heavy heart tangled in emotions, I stepped out of that home.

Re-establishing myself in a completely new place and culture — where I knew almost nothing — was not easy. It took more than six months to slowly find my ground.

There were moments of self-doubt.Moments where I questioned if I had made the wrong decision.

But by the end of the year, somehow, everything slowly fell into place.

In the process of simply trying to set up my life, I learnt things I never imagined I would.

Something as simple as buying a cutting board led me into learning about different types of wood — mango wood, MDF, HDF, Sheesham (one of my favourites), rubber wood, teak and many more.

To understand printing, I learnt about printers and printing processes.

I learnt about dohars, comforters, bedsheets.

I even learnt about cutlery, geysers ..

About lights, beds, doormats.

I began to understand furniture design.

I learnt about mirrors, curtains, textures, materials.

Establishing a life from scratch turned into a continuous learning process.

Interestingly, through all of this, I never truly felt lonely — though I was alone at times.

My mind was constantly busy — thinking, observing, categorising things.

Life around me was also moving.

Friends were getting married. Some marriages, from a distance, didn’t feel successful to me. I chose not to attend them.

In between all of this, I learnt cooking, cleaning, washing.

I reread some books.Rewatched certain movies.

There were moments of nostalgia.

I watched sunrises and sunsets.

I met many people.Spoke with people from different languages, cultures, and traditions.

I attended events.

I saw both the angry sea and the calm breeze.

I hiked hills, walked long roads, danced, drank.

Once, while walking through plantations, I realised I had acquired more knowledge than the guide explaining them.

Somewhere along the way, I was introduced as an artist.

I kept writing.Kept clicking photographs.Kept documenting.

People complimented my dressing sense.

Some valued me for my loyalty and trust.

Some old friendships resurfaced.Some new friendships slowly became old.

People came.People left.

Some simply could not align with the person I was becoming.

Many emotions.Many stories.

Failures.Repetitions.Birthday cakes.Events.

Mischief, mistrust, realisations, reputations.

Sometimes life taught lessons the hard way.Other times, a quiet observation was enough.

There were accidents.

There were emotional roller coasters.

Fights, misunderstandings, truths, realities — everything happened.

And somewhere in between all of this, I also learnt about strokes, paper quality, colours, sketches.

Sometimes drawing.Sometimes painting.

But I kept moving.

There were accusations.There was encouragement.

But the show must continue.

I took risks — enough to create new stories.Stories that may someday turn into history.

Maybe that is what my iPad reminds me every day:

“No risks, no story.”

I bought my first Armani watch.It is beautiful.

Cut the hari short , colored it..

People said its looking bad , but it remained by identity and slowly the people started saying its suits me and it does suit me.

I met many artists and learnt about their creative processes.

I hosted a potluck for the first time.

I served in an NGO.

I attended bhajans and concerts.

Added a few pens to my growing collection.

For a short period, I entered intense training — and it gave me a completely new perspective on life.

Thanks to my Guru.

I learnt about elements.About energies.

People judged me.

Some attempted character assassination.

Some spoke degrading words.

Yet, like a phoenix rising, things eventually turned.

The same world that doubted began to compliment, encourage, and even feel proud.

Truth and genuineness have a way of turning tables.

When I think about the most beautiful moments of this year, a few stand out clearly:

“Recognised as an artist.”“Read a book, imagined it, and then went to see the place in reality.”“Lived in three states in a single day.”“Morning beach walks and temple visits.”

“ being called as more localiate than a local in a place where I hold close to my heart”

I learnt to book things, pay bills, and manage a household.

Things that would have seemed impossible just a year ago.

And now, sitting here in the middle of the night, writing this…

I am neither crying nor smiling.

I simply feel surreal, settled, and content.

Here’s to another year —of experiences yet to unfold.

Until then,the pen will keep writing.

@arki