The Silence After Tsunami

13/07/2025 8.25 pm

I feel calm. A bit anxious. And yet, still surrounded by a faint echo of negativity.My body feels weak — worn down by the relentless string of incidents: the scorching summer heat, a painful hand burn, a failed holiday, mismanaged finances, skin rashes, fevers, vomiting, itching, GIT disturbances, and even a minor accident.To top it off, I’ve been emotionally drained — from loving someone who couldn't understand me, to navigating different shades of drama, trauma, and psychological imbalance.

After a four-year break, I resumed post-graduation. Five years away from structured study made me question — is it still possible to answer those big questions when my heart longs for art and a quiet hill station life?My soul feels more at home in a small town, in a tier-2 or tier-3 city, than in the world I now inhabit.Though I’m pursuing the course, I no longer feel like I belong here. I once did. But not anymore.

Lately, I’ve come to terms with something simple but profound — people do change after certain experiences. That’s what change is. Dynamic. Fluid. It took me all these years to truly grasp it.Sometimes I worry — will I even clear the basic sciences exam?I am exhausted. There’s physical pain. And lingering self-doubt.

But amidst it all, I’ve decided something:I will keep doing my work. And when I succeed, the right people will arrive — naturally, as they’re meant to.At college, I clearly sense the jealousy, anger, and subtle (or not-so-subtle) domination from some peers. I’ve realized I’m better off minding my own path — sparing myself that unnecessary exhaustion

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Since I started this blog, I haven’t written anything with so many adjectives that aren’t entirely positive.Maybe that’s what makes this real.I just need a warm hug from the right person.A moment of silence. A cup of tea. And a long, peaceful sleep.

I don’t know what the future holds.But I want to live the process.I no longer want to get trapped in “what ifs” before the exam.I’ll deal with the moments as they arrive. Hypotheticals only drain the present.

Life feels like a tipping point right now.If something bad happens — maybe something equally good is waiting around the corner. That’s the balance of life, right? A quiet cycle.

Whatever happens, I’ll let it.I’ll follow the guiding lights — whether they come as vibes, people, or painful warnings meant to steer me clear.

At this moment, maintaining my peace is the priority.Peace. Harmony. Love.That’s what this phase of life is teaching me.That’s what echoes in my mind right now.

@arki